Creating With Intention (Or Not)


“Our intention creates our reality” ~Wayne Dyer

Has anyone else been noticing how quickly the things you’re thinking about are showing up?  This is why it was predicted that in 2013, there would be a greater disparity between those who knew how to consciously create their lives and those who either lacked the awareness of how to do so, or were not willing to do the work involved with transcending the lazy mental habits that create by default.

I have spent the first month of 2013 vacillating between these groups. When I’ve reverted to old habits, primarily due to sinking into post-Sandy funks, it has been almost alarming how quickly more of the unwanted has shown up. On the flipside, it has never been easier to create what I want with conscious focus. A week or so ago, I realized I was craving a sober companion job. It was time to get out of Long Beach, and all the depressing visuals here, so I focused on what I wanted: to be elsewhere, thinking about something else. The call offering one came almost instantaneously. This is certainly “be careful what you wish for” energy!

I haven’t done this type of work in some time and it has been years since I have accepted an opportunity that didn’t involve a former client who had relapsed, or a present one who wanted more intensive help. It’s a bit awkward to show up at the home of someone you have never met in your life, suitcase in tow. And you never quite know what you’re walking into.

Business associates who refer these clients were long ago put on notice that I was taking a hiatus from this particular aspect of my multifaceted career. Need  someone to accompany a client to a treatment center in California? I’m your girl. But I’d had my fill of live-in work, which is almost always blockbuster film material. Great if you’re a screenwriter, but as a harmony-seeking life coach, it just wasn’t for me anymore.

For every enjoyable and purposeful experience, there has been an equally stressful or heartbreaking one. For every yacht, five-star hotel and private jet, there has been an environment I couldn’t wait to escape. Inside these exquisitely beautiful homes and hotel suites are wounded people with broken familes and fragmented lives. I’ve been on hand for psychological breakdowns, overdoeses, wicked fights, marital abuse and the soul piercing meltdowns of emotionally damaged children. I’ve also witnessed absolute miracles, although the true evidence of such is usually presented long after I’ve worked with the clients. Thankfully, those who stay sober also generally stay in touch.

I’ve practiced the best self care of my life on some of these sober companion jobs, with daily yoga, meditation, exercise and the healthiest nutritional habis. On others, I’ve gone days on end without sleeping, on a steady diet of caffeine, sugar and stress hormones. It all depends on the client, the situation, and of course most importantly, me, my energetic starting point and the clarity of my intentions.  

The craziest of these jobs occurred in the beginning of this career journey, when I said yes to every offer that was presented and created by default, just accepting whatever showed up instead of focusing on what I preferred. And back then, what generally showed up was pure and utter chaos! When I started doing this work, I had no idea how toxic and dangerous these situations would be until I was in them, wondering how on earth to get back out. I also didn’t truly understand how to consciously create. I knew enough about the law of attraction to manifest my first sober-companion job and make two car payments just in time to spare my car from repossession, but I had no idea that I could use these same principles to create better experiences.

Today, I won’t put myself in a live-in situation when I know the person is still actively drinking or using drugs. I’ve turned down jobs that would have sounded quite glamourous and exciting a few years ago. It has felt great to be at the point of my law of attraction education and egoic transcendence where I can say no to opportunities that don’t resonate at the soul level. And now when I say no to something that doesn’t feel right, but appreicate the offer, something that suits me better always comes along.

So what made me crave this type of work again after saying no to over 1.5 years worth of live-in offers that involved new clients? A recent conversation with a client I did sober companion work with several years ago, before she was ready to change. (This type of work is often forced upon the client by a loved one, a legal situation or a profession, particularly the film industry.) This clien, who I have adored since the day I met her, called over the summer and asked for my help. This time, it was her own desire for sobriety, and her own money footing the bill.

She just recently celebrated her six-month sober anniversary and has made incredible changes in her life, including transcending the “all about me” mentality of addiction and humbling herself in volunteer situations even I wouldn’t be brave enough to go near. A woman so accustomed to life in first-class spent a week in accomodations that make youth hostels look posh? Helping the poverty stricken? That news was beyond inspiring!

It really helped me see that even though not everyone is ready to change when I work with them, I might plant some seeds that can grow when the time is right. I might help someone see a glimpse of hope for a different life. I might form a bond that is meant to grow stronger in time.

So when Paul, my interventionist friend and business associate called with an offer, this time I surprised him. I was told this client was just completing rehab at one of the top treatment centers in the country and was extremely motivated to stay clean. She was no stranger to recovery; in fact, she had 20-years sobriety before discovering pills.

Even though I know better, I chose to forgo the process of setting clear intentions for my time with her. Experience with recovery? 30 days clean? What did I need to do on my end; this job would be a piece of cake!  

Paul failed to mention she lived with a rageful and emotionally abusive husband and three addictive-family style undisciplined dogs. There was also a teenage girl, but my experience with her turned out to be the best part about the whole job, and quite possibly the main reason I was meant to be there. She opened up to me about the feelings of hurt and betrayal incurred by learning her mother, who went to AA meetings all the time and was heavily involved with running a treatment center, had been secretly addicted to prescription pills. She learned the truth when her mother was arrested in front of her. Nothing is easy for a girl of 14, especially not this. An overdose of One Direction and a painful viewing of the Carrie Diaries aside, I was fully aware how blessed I was to connect with this beautiful being and play a role in her healing process.

My first day on this job was amazing, because we spent it at organic restaurants and malls. When we got home to the house, after dodging a pole by inches during a black-ice fishtail in her brand new Mercedes, I began to see this was not going to be as easy of a job as I’d assumed. Even though I shut her husband down for good the first time he tried his controlling nonsense with me, I grew inceasingly uncomfortable living under the same roof with his toxic energy. Within two days I wanted out, but I didn’t want to abandon my client.

“Woudln’t it be great if there was some other way I could honor this contract?” I thought. Instead of talking to her or Paul about it, I sent my request out into the universe.

An hour later, it was answered. My client decided she would rather use our remaining days together in Florida, where she has to appear in court in a few weeks. Would I be willing to accompany her there instead of completing our contract at her house?

Absolutely. And trust me, I will take the time to set my intentions for that adventure in advance!

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