Excuses Be Gone!

Since I last wrote, I started a contest to find a title for my novel, a “fictional self help” book about relationships.

The website I created includes a few excerpts from the book which readers can check out before suggesting titles. Prizes, including a gift card and complimentary EFT/lifecoaching sessions, will be distributed to the top four finalists after voting concludes. You can join the fun at http://www.namemynovel.com/

The idea to create the website for this purpose arrived well over a year ago, but I had a good deal of resistance to work through before I could implement it. Each time the idea came to mind, I had a new reason not to follow through. Eventually, I ran out of excuses.

That took a long time though! It’s amazing how many excuses we can come up with when we’re scared, and how valid they can seem. I used EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique/tapping) to recognize and release my fears and limiting beliefs, which took several months. Then there was that little matter of actually creating the site.

I used to say I had the technical skills of a grapefruit, so it’s a staggering understatement to say I was not looking forward to this part. But the friend who has created sites for me in the past wasn’t available and I didn’t want to surrender creative control to someone who didn’t share my vision or passion, so I gave it a shot on my own.

When it took three months to figure out how to change the text color in my header, I decided it was time to give up this impossible mission. I was about to just go with a Facebook page when the idea struck to check out what theme was here on Time For Prosperity. The fancy ones I had been trying to use through a premium site I’d joined were clearly not designed for beginners.The one on Time For Prosperity was ancient, but much simpler. I installed it and got further with it in three hours than I had with any of the others I’d explored in three months.

The site with the premium themes has a support section for website development and although most of it seemed like it was written in a foreign language, in time, I eventually got the hang of it. I found my way through what once felt like an endless jungle of technical challenges and entered the clearing with a simple but functioning website.

The best part of all was that I created it myself! And beyond what it ever accomplishes as a website, it taught me so much about my capabilities and helped disprove many old and false beliefs that have been stifling me for decades.

I am much braver than I ever thought I was. I am far more logical and persistent. My work ethic is stellar when I am engaged in something I’m truly passionate about. I am able to translate inspired creativity to a left-brained medium. And if I can do that, I am truly capable of just about anything I set my mind to, even if it seems to fall way outside my talents and comfort zone. Most importantly, no matter what the question is, I can count on my higher self to provide the answer.

I understood this theoretically, but was not really living it consistently before I attempted to create the site. It took a while to develop the habit. Some nights, I would stay up long past a reasonable bedtime trying to force something that wasn’t working. Then I’d remember – the answer can come far more easily if I’m not relying on just my mind. I’d put it out there to the universe and surrender.

Sometimes the answer would come in a random inspiration at a time I wasn’t even thinking about the site. Suddenly, I would just know something I didn’t before. Other times, I’d think of the exact right person  to ask. Or I’d randomly stumble upon the answer another way. It was incredible to watch this play out.

Once I had the site working well enough, it was time to put up actual content: excerpts from the novel I’d written. I’ve been sharing my writing for decades, between my former career with the NHL, contributions to the Contagious Optimism series and my stories here. But for some reason, this felt very different!

I initially only shared the site with classmates from my EFT class, because I felt safe with them and they provided me with so much support. But I took down my first excerpt within ten minutes of posting it, because I felt so uncomfortable! I used EFT to work through my vulnerability and next level of fears. The next day, I posted it again and that time, it stuck.

That day seems like light years ago, because now I love putting up new excerpts! It helps that the material has been so well received, and the project itself has been a lot of fun.

Today’s Prosperity Process:

What projects or goals have you been procrastinating because they feel too big, or impossible to find starting points for? What other reasons do you have for not persuing your dreams? List all the reasons you have not gotten started with the things you say you want to do.

Journal or talk to a friend and have them listen for limiting beliefs, because the fear may run deeper than your actual awareness. Or the beliefs may feel so true, you mistake them as truths. For instance, “I don’t have time,” is a big one that comes up for people. It feels true. But it is only true because you believe in lack of time! I know someone who says she doesn’t have time to write, but she watches several hours of television every night. It’s not that she doesn’t have time – it’s that she is choosing to do something else with it.

Question all the fears and beliefs you come up with and use tools like EFT or work with a coach to release the beliefs that don’t serve you and are getting in the way of your dreams.

Even if you don’t make the changes right away, you will start breaking down the ego’s need to keep you safe and small with an endless stream of excuses. “I am choosing to relax and enjoy some television tonight” is a much more empowered thought than “I don’t have time to devote to my dreams.”

 

 

 

 

 

Today’s Prosperity Process

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Prior to late last month, the last time I accepted a sober companion assignment was in February. Since I’d walked into such a toxic and undesirable situation back then, I decided on the spot that I was retiring from this particular aspect of my multifaceted coaching career. In fact, I decided I was pretty much done working with clients in crises in general, unless it was the client reaching out for help and not a loved one forcing it upon him or her as was often the case with this type of work.

What I didn’t grasp at the time was that the chaos of the February job was merely a reflection of where I was internally, after falling into an energetic tailspin in the months following Superstorm Sandy. Since I was so depleted myself from subscribing to the story of devastation in my community and trying to provide more emotional support than I had to give, my vibration was not in the right place to attract a desirable situation.

Thankfully, when you work for yourself, quitting doesn’t have to be permanent. I never announced to the interventionists who refer me clients that I was seriously contemplating a career change. I just puttered along with the couple of case management clients I was already working with, who kept me afloat financially until one of them announced he was moving to California. All I felt was relief; I’d never been comfortable with the fact that his parents had been paying me so generously to do next to nothing; this kid had zero interest in recovery or working with me.

Instead of panicking that my income had been slashed in half, I trusted this was happening for a reason and would allow for even greater prosperity if I viewed it from an angle of faith. This “loss” freed up energy; I knew if I focused on getting my vibration higher, I would be a match to a much better opportunity. Since I didn’t know what that would look like, I simply resumed the inner work necessary to launch myself back into the flow of possibilities and focused on my writing.

I worked on revamping my solo manuscript and my contributions to Contagious Optimism. Even though I wasn’t involved with the first volume of that series, I was invited to take part in a book signing. I found it hilarious that my first signing involved a book I didn’t contribute to, but it felt as natural as breathing. This was a glimpse of the next phase of my professional life and I was excited.

But what about the now? I was still rather adamant about not wanting to return to crises work. Then last month, upon learning that actor Corey Monteith died from an overdose, a switch went off within my heart that made me want to return to the field. I realized I could no longer turn my back on this career I had never actively chosen in the first place. If this was the work I was meant to be doing at this point of time, who was I to say no?

A few days later, after putting the universe on notice that I was ready to take on new clients again, I took a look at my bank statements. Ms. Time For Prosperity had fallen back into some bad old habits since the storm, like not paying very good attention to the money going in and out of her accounts. Barely working for nine months hadn’t helped much either. I was quite surprised to see the totals, and not in a good way.

Fortunately, by this point I had gotten back into practices like meditation and watching online services from my spiritual community. Sure, it had only been a couple of weeks, but with the powerful energy of 2013, it doesn’t take long to get back on track. I realized the total in my bank accounts was just a reflection of the thoughts and actions I had indulged in over the past several months. It was something that could be easily rectified, even if I didn’t know “how” exactly. That part isn’t my job. I just need to focus on what I want.

I declined fear’s invitation to panic and got clear on which of the many processes I have learned through the years would be the most helpful. The answer came to do “tapping,” a process I had forgotten all about. ” I will detail it in a near future post, but you can do some research online in the interim if you want instant gratification. It’s a process I thought was absolutely ridiculous when I first heard about it, but it really does work to clear energy very quickly.

I spent no more than 10 minutes tapping on and releasing fear and and focusing on what I wanted: to feel abundant and on purpose again.

The very next day, I was very surprised to hear a voicemail from a guy I’d gotten to know with while working with my very first sober companion client. He’d been in her support network and had quickly become part of mine on that job, as I traversed the movie script plot line of that era. He had played an instrumental part in my realization that the situation was getting progressively more toxic and my ensuing decision to walk away from it.

As I drove away from Canyon Ranch that day, leaving my client and a few of the craziest months of my life behind, I left this guy a voicemail, thanking him for his wisdom and support. I never heard back from him.

Now here he was on my voicemail, three and a half years later, apologizing for not calling me back and delivering an explanation for not having my number that my ego was slow to believe. Even if it was true, it made no sense whatsoever to me that he was calling all this time later to deliver it. Still, it was nice to hear from him and the message was amusing me.

Then he got to fascinating part: since last we’d spoken, he’d begun working in the field and was now an interventionist. He had recently connected with Paul, who has been behind the majority of my sober companion and rehab transport jobs the past few years. He was looking for someone for a sober companion job and Paul recommended me and provided my number. He was amazed by the synchronicity. What were the chances?

Well, this is my life so…pretty good, actually.

It’s important to note that I just happened to be wearing a shirt that first client had given me, which I hadn’t worn in years, when he called me. And that this client he wanted me to work with shared a first name with that client from the past.

My “yes” was instantaneous. In the days leading up to this assignment in Greenwich, I spent some time reflecting on my favorite sober companion jobs of all time, and the positive elements I enjoyed about each one. This Abraham-Hicks process called “positive aspecting,” combined with setting an intention to create a great experience, helped line up one of the best sober companion jobs I’ve ever worked. It was the first one I actually missed when I went back home. Much more on that soon…

Today’s Prosperity Process

Make a list of all the positive traits you have experienced with a past experience to line up the “wanted” for a new one. For example, if you are looking for a new job, list all the traits of past jobs that you have enjoyed the most. Resist the temptation to focus on anything you didn’t appreciate – these aspects were only there to help you get clear on what you wanted. The purpose of this exercise is to appreciate what you did like, so as to invite these elements to a future experience.

Today’s Prosperity Process

SMsunset “A penny saved is a penny earned.” ~Benjamin Franklin

Monetary prosperity is about more than manifestation. It’s also about building a new relationship with money, one which is respectful and welcoming.

One prosperity-based behavior it has taken time for me to learn has been to spend less money on things I am already planning to buy. I’ve never been one to wait for sales or look for discounts. I was someone who would literally walk into a Bed, Bath & Beyond without one or several of their ubiquitous coupons. I held the belief that using coupons would make me seem “thrifty,” a word I never wanted anyone to associate with me.

For many years, I went in the complete opposite direction. I thought it was cool that I didn’t look at price tags when I went clothes shopping. I’d laugh when the cashiers told me my totals. Oops!

What I didn’t understand was that I was blatantly disrespecting money, which was an interesting behavior for someone who was primarily living on credit cards at the time. I was also caring significantly too much what people I didn’t even know thought of me, but that’s another topic altogether.

I’m still not much of a coupon clipper, but today I do take pride in finding a good deal. Because of that, it’s quite easy to find them.

Last week, my sister-in-law and I decided to do a juice cleanse through Blueprint. I was about to order the juices online when I remembered that Whole Foods carried them. When I called to find out if all six juices were in stock, I learned they were having a sale on them. Lorena and I each saved $100 buying the three-day cleanse through Whole Foods!

A few days ago, I realized my XM subscription was soon to expire. I’d gotten it at a well discounted rate last year after refusing the sale’s representative’s original pice of $300 for a one-year subscription and his promotional offer of $200. I was about to hang up when he offered me a special promotion: $100 for the year. Sold!

This year, I caught myself talking about how I’d have to pay full price to renew. “They only gave me the super discounted rate to get me as a new customer. Now that I love their service, they know I’ll be willing to pay more for it.” As I’ve learned to do, I questioned my negative belief. Did I have any proof that this was true? It seemed quite logical, but no, I didn’t have any proof.

I called XM with an expectation to get a deal and told the representative I was unlikely to renew unless she was able to match the offer they made me last year. She informed me she would need to speak with her supervisor since she was not allowed to approve this. She got back on the line and offered me something even better: a rate of $24.41 for six months!

Today’s Prosperity Process:

Challenge yourself to find at least one good deal this week. Whether you wait for something to go on sale, go to a store you don’t usually shop at to get cheaper price, ask for a discount, haggle, or find another way to save money, acknowledge your success and the money you saved. It’s a great feeling, and is a fabulous way to let money know you’re serious about wanting to improve your relationship.

 

Today’s Prosperity Process

Our subconscious minds cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.” ~Robert Collier

Many years ago, my close friend Tariq took me to Sedona, Arizona for the first time. Thanks to his generosity, I was able to experience the beautiful red rocks I’d only seen in photos, awe-inspiring hikes, energy vortexes and the coolest, most evolved people I’d ever encountered. It was long before Sedona became a tourist attraction; many of the roads were still lined with red clay and there wasn’t a pink jeep tour in sight. 

Through the years, I’ve returned to Sedona and Phoenix several times and it has always been an adventure. From Wayne Gretzky asking me to snap some photos of him and friends in the Coyotes dressing room to time literally stopping for hours on a hike through Oak Creek Canyon, the trips have always involved an essence of the surreal. The other common denominator between my Arizonian adventures was that I wished my mom was there…okay, maybe not literally in the Coyotes dressing room, but on the trips in general. 

This was partly due to my suspicion that she’d love the southwest, which she had never experienced, but it was also because we almost moved there. When I was in high school, my dad was offered a promotion/transfer to Phoenix, which he considered but eventually declined. Each time I’m in the area, I wonder what life would have been like had we moved. I always feel close with my dad’s spirit in Phoenix and imagined my mom might also. When I was last in Sedona in 2011, I vowed next time I returned, I would bring her.

I put photos of Sedona in my mind movie, with the affirmation, “I’m so excited I can afford to take Mom to Arizona this year!” I spent time considering which hotels and restaurants she would like best and researched low impact hiking options. I did visualization techniques and started talking with her about going this autumn, even when that seemed like a monetary impossibility. At first, she was like “Yeah right.” After a while, she stopped protesting and began to humor me.

In early October, I was overjoyed to board the flight to Phoenix with my mom. My treat! This was the first time in many years I was taking a trip that wasn’t paid for by someone else, and the first time since college I was paying for a vacation with actual cash. I was overcome with emotion that this had actually become possible. A year ago, I could barely pay my rent! Now I was treating the woman who kept me afloat back when I couldn’t afford to buy myself a cup of coffee to a nice vacation. I was determined to say thank you by saying no thank you as often as she offered me money toward the trip. It was time for her to learn to receive, and for me to return to my true nature as a giver.

As I set off to enjoy the present, the voice of the past, which still subscribes to scarcity, attempted to generate some future-based fear. “Couldn’t you have stayed in cheaper hotels?” it scolded. “You don’t have a client paying for this trip, remember? In fact, why are you taking this trip at all? This is money you should be doing more responsible things with, or in the very least saving for a rainy day!”

The voice lectured me until it lost its voice. I just witnessed it, watching the thoughts come and go, so as not to get hooked into the fear.

We were en route to Arizona; it was pointless to contemplate how much money I was spending or what I “should” be spending it on instead. So I promised myself I would enjoy every minute and look for opportunities to bask in prosperity thinking.

My mom fell in love with the desert and the trip was worth every penny long before our first sight of the red rocks. As I drove closer to Sedona, I watched the expression on my mom’s face, excited to be experiencing that newness again through someone else’s eyes. Not that I need to: I cry every time I make that drive, completely awestruck by the magnificent beauty. My mom described the experience like landing on another planet.  

When we arrived at The Penrose, I was welcomed by the surprising sight of Bell Rock. I recalled driving to Bell Rock last year and thinking how nice it would be to stay in that area, instead of the ever-increasingly busy town. The Penrose is in a quiet area, nestled into the magical rocks and while Tariq had taken me there on our second trip to Sedona, I’d forgotten how amazing the location was. It probably didn’t stand out as much then, since Sedona was still not the tourist attraction it has since become.

I’d also forgotten the layout of their largest room. It was not a “suite” as I’d remembered. I don’t require much sleep in Sedona, due to the heightened energy of the environment, and I didn’t want to keep my mom up past her bedtime or wake her while getting ready for my sunrise hikes. The Penrose offered me an additional room at a rate of $50 per night based on availability. Since no one else came to claim it, it was mine for the remainder of the trip at this incredibly discounted rate.  I felt like I’d won a lottery jackpot.

I immensely enjoyed our stay at the lovely Penrose, starting with delicious outdoor breakfasts next to breathtakingly beautiful backdrops and ending with tea and scrumptious snacks on the terrace as we looked at thousands of stars.   

Of all the wonderful places I’ve been blessed to travel to and stay at, The Penrose is an all-time favorite.  I can’t say enough about owners Whitney and Christie who make you feel like beloved members of their family.  They treated my mom like a rock star and I will forever be grateful for the smile they kept on my mom’s face throughout our stay.

Since my last post, I have truly learned to see that money is only the value we assign to it. To see my mom as happy and relaxed as she was in Sedona was worth its weight in gold, and then some.  

I will return soon with more about our trip and the powerful lessons in prosperity I encountered on it and upon our return. In the meantime, I leave you with this:

Today’s Prosperity Process

If you could take one person in your life anywhere in the world, who would it be and where would you go? Why? If it’s somewhere you’ve been, imagine yourself there again, experiencing the sights and sounds and aromas, basking in your loved one’s excitement and appreciation. If it is somewhere you’ve dreamed of going but haven’t yet visited, do some research online and plan your trip. Don’t limit yourself with prices; find the places that most appeal to you! Pretend you have unlimited resources to take this trip and that the money can only be spent on this vacation; you can’t use it for anything else. Where will you stay? What restaurants will you dine at? What activities will you engage in?

Have fun with this.  I look forward to seeing who the first person will be that will write to me and say, “Nancy you won’t believe this! I did that exercise you suggested in October just for fun…and now I’m on my way to my dream destination!”

Today’s Prosperity Process

 “Money is only the value we assign it,” my cousin Victoria said to my voicemail this morning, a reminder of all I’ve learned this weekend. Her timely words, combined with ideas recently planted in a prosperity workshop with Michael Beckwith, helped me contemplate this crucial aspect of abundance thinking. How we choose to feel about the money we send out is far more important than the dollar amount.

If we view the transaction as “spending,” or are in any way unhappy about having to “shell out” the money for something, it is used, forever gone. If we instead focus on the services we have or are about to receive with gratitude, and the lives and communities the money will better, we are engaging in the energy of circulation. Spending repels prosperity but circulation invites the money back in our direction.

On Thursday, I paid a $135 ticket for my mom’s overdue inspection. Since she’d received the ticket after a thankfully minor accident in my community, she had to go to court here to fight it, rather than just mail in proof she got her car inspected the next day. I realized when I offered to help that I would either pay for the ticket with time or money, the latter of which seemed like the better choice on a beautiful late summer day. It wasn’t a popular decision in my family; they would have preferred the two of us to spend our day in a crowded court room, waiting to see the judge. Since the ticket would have been waived, they viewed my paying it a waste of money. I looked at it from a different perspective.

Paying it was an opportunity to say thank you to someone who has been beyond generous with me through the years, a person without whom I would have been homeless when I was struggling. It was a chance to let her know someone had her back. Learn how to receive Mom; this is only the beginning. She protested, but I wouldn’t take a dime from her. This is how it’s going to be from now on. Get used to it.

The court clerk heard our conversation and was touched; she told me she never knew her mother. The three of us shared a poignant conversation, once which brought tears to all our eyes, and my gratitude for my mom was taken to an even higher level. We enjoyed the rest of the day together, enjoying one another’s company at my pool before I took her back home.

“It doesn’t sound like you spent money on a ticket,” Victoria later commented, “But rather that you  purchased a ticket to a beautiful day with your mother!”

The very next evening, I was going to go out on my brother in law’s boat, something I normally LOVE to do, but my body and spirit were begging for a night in. I do not like to cancel at the last minute, especially when I know people who were counting on me to go for various reasons will be disappointed. I needed to get to the bank before it closed so I made my phone calls en route, letting each person involved know individually that I wasn’t going, providing honest but nevertheless excuses for my decision when all I needed to say was that it wasn’t the right night for me. I faced some expected disappointment (because I expected it), which I did my best to contend with, forgetting it wasn’t my work.

Since I was so preoccupied with everyone else’s feelings, a bad habit I gave up years ago that comes back whenever I’m not practicing sufficient self care, I wasn’t paying full attention to what I was doing. I failed to notice I had parked in a handicapped spot. Granted, the signs were a little confusing, but if I hadn’t been preoccupied with my family and the complete non-crises that I was treating like one, it would have been clear as day.

I noticed the police car pulling up to mine as I walked back down the block toward my car, five minutes after I left it. Before I even got there, I knew what I had done. I could feel the police officer’s agitated energy as she got out of her car. I pleaded with her not to give me a ticket, informing her it had been a legitimate mistake. My ego was triggered more than a little when she ignored my plea and began to plug my information into her system. It was clear she didn’t believe me; she incorrectly assumed I thought I was who I was, that I did things like this all the time, intentionally.

“If I don’t give you the ticket, you’ll do it again tomorrow,” she said with an attitude that clearly demonstrated her dislike for the person she thought I was. I started to argue with her, exactly what she wanted, hissing some comment about karma and the stressful phone call which had preoccupied me, before I caught myself full madness.

Had I honestly just said I was engaged in a stressful conversation that distracted me? The conversation was about whether or not I was going out on a boat. The sad part is I actually had been stressed out! I hate disappointing people. But the truth is, you can never disappoint others; their disappointment is always created by their perception of your actions, not your actual actions. Sometimes I forget this, especially when it comes to family, where these people pleasing habits originated.

Also, was I seriously getting in a power struggle here with a complete stranger? Because she was doing her job? Sure, she could have chosen to cut me a break, but she hadn’t. I know better than to paddle furiously against the current. Maybe this woman made some judgements about me because of how I looked or my car. Maybe she was having a bad day.  Maybe she was really just this rigid and didn’t know how to change her mind once she’d made a decision. Maybe she didn’t know how to give people second chances. What difference did it make? None of that had anything to do with me. Suddenly, all I felt for her was deep compassion.

“Next time you make a mistake, I hope someone is more forgiving with you then you have been with me,” I told her. “That said, I respect you and know you are doing your job. I choose to be okay with this situation and I have no hard feelings toward you. In fact, I’m going to pray that you may experience a greater level of peace. Have a nice evening.”

She was getting back in her car as I said that last bit, but she got back out and told me I could appear in court; maybe they would lower the fee. Suddenly, she was really nice. It was like a switch had gone off; my seeing the situation as it really was allowed her to also. I was not who she thought I was. I was not her enemy. In that instant, she probably even knew it really had been an innocent mistake on my behalf.

My ego got the better of me again as I drove away, as it pondered the perceived unfairness of it all. Here I was, trying to make sure no one in my family felt bad, and I got punished for it with a $200 ticket.  I had spent hours on the phone coordinating a night I was not even going to be part of when I should have spent that time recharging. And now this!  

Again, I heard the nonsense my small mind was trying to sell and declined its offer. I made the choice to spend my day as I had. I could have told everyone else to make a plan, let me know what it was and decided in the moment whether or not it felt right. And I could have put my own needs before the feelings of others, which I couldn’t control in the first place!

I was laughing by the time I told Victoria the story. Twenty minutes ago, it was not a comical one; now it was uproariously funny. I detailed the family dynamics, which as my cousin, she was able to fully appreciate.

“The Codepedency Express came to town. I boarded. With a first class ticket.”

I detailed the story in grander fashion than I’m doing here, since she is my cousin and could appreciate the various plotlines that played out in the tale. I concluded my story with the fact that I am not going to fight this ticket. Yes, just showing up in court would almost guarantee at least a reduction and the street signs are confusing in this community. I once had a bus stop ticket entirely waived for this very reason.

But, I’m not carrying this energy for the next month. I made this mistake because I was putting the entire world before myself and because I wasn’t present. I deserved the ticket. I have the money to pay for it. $200 is nothing considering the amount of money I can manifest if I get the many lessons this incident contained.

“We’ve spent way more than that on personal growth workshops,” Victoria reminded me. 

Very true. As I contemplate this further, I think about how good it feels to have this money in my account, to circulate. The time I fought the bus stop ticket, it was because I didn’t. I think about how cool it was that I didn’t just see the insanity of the power struggle with the police officer in retrospect, but while it was occurring, in time to turn it around. I take time to appreciate the fact that my body is fully functioning and that I don’t need a handicapped spot. I think about the fact that the money will go to the community I live in and better it in some way.

I decided I will include a thank you note with my payment.

“Thank you for this ticket and the ensuing lesson in being fully present, not only when I’m operating a motor vehicle, which is of particular importance, but in every situation. This ticket has not only been a great reminder of this, but has also taught me other lessons. Say no when I mean no, even if I’m being persuaded by people I love to say yes. Don’t give excuses. Remember that other people’s feelings are caused by their perception of what I say and do, not what I say and do. Practice better self care. When I forget to take care of myself, I can’t be of any true service to anyone else, and I exhaust myself further while trying.”

I feel good about sending the money; this is circulation, not spending. This is a choice, to pay this rather than fight it, and it’s a reminder make better choices in the future.

Shortly after making my decision, I received an email from a hotel I booked several weeks ago for an upcoming trip to Sedona, a continuation of my living thank you note to Mom. Suddenly and for no apparent reason, this bed and breakfast felt compelled to give me $10 off the nightly rate because I’ve been there before. Sweet! I decided to look for further evidence that the $200 ticket payment would return to me quickly. The next day, I received a coupon from my yoga studio which will result in a $25 discount. I can’t wait to see how the rest, and more, will show up!

Today’s Prosperity Process

Make choices that feel good to you when you circulate money. And when you can’t change the choice, change your thoughts around it. 

Thank institutions that have loaned you money in advance when you write checks, instead of grumbling about mortgage, loan and credit card payments. Write words of gratitude on the check or on a separate note. It may sound absurd; do it anyway! Take a few moments to appreciate your home when you pay your mortgage or rent, your car when you send out money to own, lease or repair it, your cell phone when you make a payment.

Think about the others your payments benefit. You are keeping people employed. You are putting food on someone else’s table. You are sending money that will allow the institutions to provide services for others.

Be conscious about where you circulate your money. Do you want to make purchases in chain stores you’ve heard negative things about, like ones that support sweat shops, or would you rather support local independent businesses?

Choose better thoughts and better ways to send your money out into the Universe. Eliminate the word “spend” from your vocabulary. Instead, circulate and be on the lookout for all the surprising ways it will come back to you!

Today’s Prosperity Process (repost)

“Most people feel a stark difference between the things they want to do and the things they believe they have to do. And most have put anything that earns money in the category of the things I  to do. There is no better way to earn money than to do the things you love to do.”

~Abraham-Hicks from the book “Money and the Law of Attraction”

As I’ve mentioned in recent posts, I’ve been working with a local client for the past three months. As our contract was coming to a close, I encouraged Paul, the interventionist who referred this client, to speak with his parents about an extension. The client was contending with a plethora of stressors and wanted to continue working with me.

His parents offered us significantly less than our original fee to extend. I agreed, as we were already working together less intensively than we had been when he first got out of treatment, and in my mind, I was being overpaid dramatically.

The next day, Paul texted to communicate he himself was hesitant about accepting the extension. The old, scarcity-based version of me would have panicked about “losing” the money. The old, codependently-based version would have freaked out about the idea of “abandoning” my client when he “needed me.”

The here and now version, however, knew to trust that this situation would work out for the highest good of all involved. I trusted Paul was making the exact right decision for himself by following his instincts. I trusted my client would be supported in whatever way would be best for him. I trusted life to continue delivering my flow of prosperity, and lead me to whatever opportunities would best serve me.

A few hours later, Paul called to discuss the situation, explaining his hesitation to be involved with the extension. He is happier, and more comfortable, working with short-term clients, with his preference being interventions, transports to and from treatment centers and short-term sober coaching. Longer term clients take his attention away from what he does best, and what he loves to do.

In the year since his partner, John, made his physical transition, I’ve incorrectly assumed we have had less long-term work because he wasn’t as good at the marketing end of things as John has been. Who knew this was simply a matter of preference? It’s amazing the stories we tell ourselves, and others, when we really don’t have the facts.  I was so glad to learn the truth.

Instead of trying to talk him into the extension, which I may have done in the past, I asked how he felt about the idea of me working with the client privately. Not only did he give his blessing, but he also called my client’s parents to encourage this arrangement.

They agreed, since I have been the one meeting with and supporting this client anyway. They did not even attempt to lower the fee, so I will be making Paul’s percentage as well as my own, bringing the total close to what I’d been making in the first place. Suddenly, I felt quite deserving of that.

The fact that Paul was willing to walk away from the money, which he was doing even less to make than I was, truly amazed me. He has been studying the same universal principles I have these past few years, and I was utterly amazed by his progress.  I was also impressed by his decision to pull out of a situation that didn’t feel right to him.

I sent him an email that night to express how much he’d inspired me. I told him the money he said “No thank you” to would come back to him, and then some, in a manner he felt better aligned with.

Two days later, a woman whose children I’d once tutored for the SAT contacted me to ask if I knew the name of an interventionist. My ego cried, “Tell her you can do it! You know how to do interventions! She won’t care that you’re not certified! You know her whole family! They already trust you! Cha ching!”

My spirit gave her Paul’s name.

He made the money we would have shared working with my client and then some, doing what he does best. Most importantly, an amazing kid I used to tutor is now getting the help he needs in rehab.

When we learn to trust in abundance, and say no thank you to the opportunities that don’t feel right, life is happy to deliver those that do. Bonus points: we receive even more money than we would have if we’d ignored our instincts and pushed ourselves to do something we didn’t want to.

Today’s Prosperity Process:

Explore the areas in your life where you tend to say yes when the situation doesn’t feel quite right.

What opportunities do you take to make money that you do not feel aligned with?

In what situations have you said no to a situation that didn’t feel right, and been rewarded with something better?

Are you ready to take a bold step in welcoming prosperity? If so, share insights related to today’s post by clicking “leave a reply” below!

What’s Your Sign?

On our prosperous journeys, there are always signs to let us know we are heading in the right direction. When we are open enough to notice them, these signs can have a profound effect on our senses of purpose and trust. They come in countless ways from an amalgamation of sources; some are one-time markers while others show up repeatedly.

Lilies are my personal favorite.

Five years ago, while attending training at iPEC coaching in Los Angeles, I began to smell these flowers, a scent that still vividly reminded me of my father’s passing almost 11 years earlier. Due to the association, it was a smell that sickened me; it literally made me gag. I didn’t stop to question why these flowers had appeared in our classroom, a conference room in a wonderful West Hollywood hotel, during our lunch break. I simply approached one of my teachers to ask if I could place them outside the room.

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Today’s Prosperity Process

As many of you know, I spent much of the past month serving on a grand jury, an experience I entered kicking and screaming. I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea of sitting in a stuffy courtroom with no open windows for 19 days, listening to traumatizing testimonies, when I could be helping clients and enjoying a beautiful time of year the way I’m accustomed to. To someone who cherishes freedom, this truly seemed like a jail term.

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Today’s Prosperity Process

 

The brain is like velcro for negative experiences but teflon for positive ones.”
~Rick Hanson

As humans living in a “What’s wrong” culture, we have been trained to find the unwanted in any given situation. 100 fantastic things can happen to us in a day and unless we have developed some semblance of control of our minds, our tendency is to dwell upon what left us unimpressed. What we perceive as positive slips out of our awareness easily, if we’ve noticed it at all, but the negative remains.

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Antigua Part One (and prosperity process)

 

 

“Do you want to go to Antigua tomorrow?”

Paul’s text was devoid of details; I had no idea exactly what type of offer he was extending; I presumed it was professional. My initial reaction was “Hell yea I do!” But most of my family was out of town; who would look after Dulche?

I called my dear friend Victoria, who I knew would provide some law of attraction rhetoric and help me break through my limited thinking. She reminded me that I could create whatever I asked for. A one-day transport seemed too short; anything longer than a few days and I knew I’d feel too guilty about leaving Dulche, who has never spent more than a night alone, to fully enjoy myself. I decided a three-night stay would be perfect.

Paul texted back to state it was only a transport, but since I couldn’t get home the same day due to lack of return flights, he would pay me for two days. He figured I’d have the client checked in at her treatment center by 2pm and would have the rest of the day and following morning to explore. It was less time than I’d set my intention for, but I knew I’d make the most of it.       

When my client’s sister sent my flight information, I was so focused on the work related details of my agenda, I almost didn’t realize she’d booked my return flight for Wednesday! I called to inform her of the error, to learn it wasn’t one: that was the next available flight home on Delta. She said she was planning to research other airlines but had booked this one just in case.

The next morning, I overheard my client upgrading herself to business class, presumably so she could booze without supervision. I never stand in the way of a client who is drinking en route to treatment, as long as the facility has a detox. For some, stopping abruptly can be a life-threatening risk. But her sister had asked me to call her if this happened, so I did.

$900 later, my seat was upgraded as well. This was fascinating to me, since the last time I flew coach, I decided it was time to start traveling business class. No resistance, instant manifestation.

The transport was effortless. Our flight landed early and Crossroads (Eric Clapton’s treatment center) had a driver waiting at the airport. They put me up in one of their adorable cottages for the night and I fell in love with the place. The staff was so welcoming and loving and cool; I felt like I was reconnecting with old friends rather than meeting professional contacts for the first time. I loved hearing about the program, which was more aligned with my beliefs than most centers I’ve visited; they follow a true mind/body/spirit approach to recovery. The food was as outstanding as the hospitality, and the center and surrounding property was stunningly beautiful and serene. I loved learning that Clapton comes by to chat with and play for the clients regularly. Its indisputably the most impressed I’ve been with a treatment center.

Victoria got another call when I learned the only other flight my client’s sister could find was Tuesday morning at 7:30am, which would have involved somehow getting myself to the airport by 5:30. That did not sound appealing at all, or even possible considering the “island time” factor, but I knew I’d be moving to a resort on Monday and did not want my client’s sister to have to cover an extra night. I left V a message to which she quickly responded with exactly what I wanted (and needed) to hear.

She was quick to point out that I often tell her I love this work so much, but don’t see myself doing it longterm because my self-care goes out the window and I wind up exhausted after most assignments. This job had an all expenses paid relaxation and rejuvenation portion built right into it; was I really considering turning that down? And I asked for three nights! Presto.

Just in case she hadn’t yet convinced me, she concluded her message with: “The Universe said ‘You’ve been tithing girl; let me take care of this for you.’ Allow, allow, allow!”

Was I really going to say no thank you, I’d rather rush home and feel like crap when I get there? NO! And what would make me do so in the first place? Feeling bad that my client’s sister had to put me up the extra night? She didn’t feel bad about that; why should I have? If she was willing to pay $900 to upgrade me to business class, an extra night at a hotel was not going to phase her. Feeling bad for Dulche? My aunt and a close friend promised to visit him often; he’d be well cared for in my absence.

I declined the Tuesday morning flight, which gave me an extra day and a half in Antigua. Looking back, I can’t imagine having cut the trip early; I still had so many people to meet and adventures to experience! My client’s sister sounded nothing short of delighted that I’d stay until Wednesday.

Hours later, I checked into the Grand Pineapple. As I stepped onto my balcony for the first time, and looked at the view, my eyes filled with tears. The Universe is always willing to provide wonderful gifts; it is up to us whether or not we are willing to receive.

Today’s Prosperity Process: What are you presently denying yourself, because you are putting someone else’s needs first or simply not giving yourself permission to enjoy it?

Some of us allow our bliss on a regular basis; many of us have been conditioned to whisper no for various reasons when we really want to scream yes. We come up with all the reasons we “shouldn’t” do or have what we want.

What will your life be like when you allow yourself to experience what you really want?