Faith or Fear?

I skipped my flight from Miami to New York yesterday. I didn’t change my reservation; I simply didn’t show up. I checked in online, but I opted not to board.

“They’re probably calling my name right,” I said to my friend with a laugh, trying to appear more confident than I actually felt about the situation.

Due to Winter Storm Pax, fares were escalating by the moment. Maybe I was exercising a little too much faith in my manifesting abilities and should have made a more logical decision, like going home.

Except there’s no such thing as too much faith. Logic and I are distant relatives several times removed who rarely communicate. I erased the word “should” from my vocabulary a long time ago. And home was about to begrudgingly welcome the aforementioned Pax.

The decision had already been made and there was nothing I could do to change that. Getting to the airport, through security and to my gate in ten minutes didn’t seem terribly feasible so the only thing left to do was trust.

Rewind to earlier that morning. I’d awoken from a relatively scary dream about flying. In all my years of travel, I have never been afraid to fly and I rarely have nightmares.

I’d recently experienced a silly but nevertheless precognitive dream. I ordered a sandwich on “fat bread” from room service. My cousin arrived for lunch in real life with very thickly sliced bread to make sandwiches on, and called it the very same thing.

What if this dream was another case of fat bread?

I couldn’t chance it or ignore the blatant symbolism. In the dream, we were told the plane was all but inevitably going to crash. The woman who shared this information with us had dread in her voice and it scared the bejesus out of me.

As the crew began to teach emergency procedures, I realized we hadn’t actually taken off yet. What was wrong with these people? Why were they remaining on the plane? I grabbed my suitcase from the overhead bin and ran off, wondering why anyone would have chosen otherwise.

In real life, I had chosen not to be one of the crazy people on that flight, heading back to New York just in time for Pax. Friends who have become Facebook meteorologists this winter were predicting a foot of snow!

Those of you who know me know winter isn’t exactly my thing, even when it doesn’t snow every other day and the temperature occasionally rises above freezing. It had taken several days to thaw out from the 582 snowstorms this winter and I had only just started to recover vibrationally.

One snowflake away from insanity, a friend in Miami had rescued me with an invitation and unprecedented hospitality. I was just starting to feel like myself again. Did I really need to hurl myself back into the circumstances I’d been struggling with if I had a choice?

Pass. I set an intention to change my flight at no fee, which I have done more times than most people believe. But when I went to work my magic with my airline, I was met with an unexpected response.

“Your current wait time is four…” Oh four minutes; that’s not too bad. Wait. Did that computerized voice just say four HOURS?

They gave an option for me to provide my number and have a representative call me back, which was the obvious choice. Except that it’s been 26 hours and I’m still waiting for that call.

My friend suggested the airline’s app, which I promptly downloaded. Then I accidentally managed to check myself in. It was very unlikely I was going to be rewarded for leaving an empty seat on their plane, especially on a day when people were desperately trying to move up their flights.

It was inevitable I’d need to book a whole new and outrageously priced ticket. That is, if I didn’t catch my negative thinking and tap back into faith.

I enjoyed an outdoor dinner in a thunderstorm and a great conversation. Nature, my friend and the appreciation of both helped me raise my energy again. I was thrilled to be planning for another beautiful day in Florida instead of preparing for a blizzard.

During an Olympics commercial break, I picked up my phone and opened the app. It hadn’t been a premeditated action, but more like how I used to unconsciously open Facebook any time I had to wait on a line for over three seconds.

I was just about to close the app when the words on the screen caught the attention of the conscious part of my brain. My flight had been delayed. And apparently they were offering me an opportunity to reschedule.

As impossible as it seemed considering the flight they were letting me re-book had already landed (safely) in New York, I was able to select a flight for several days later. Free of charge.

Keep the faith, people. Keep the faith.

Today’s Prosperity Process – Nov 11 2010

It’s been two weeks since I posted my first entry and I have yet to change my visibility settings from private to public. Why am I procrastinating? The same reason any of us procrastinate something we want to do: fear.

Fear is not necessarily a foe; it is designed to help protect us. It just wants to get our attention, to make sure we know what we’re doing, that we are truly ready to act. Without fear, I would have prematurely started this website in the summer of 2009. Had I done that, I suspect I may not have drawn the amazing opportunities which followed.

Continue reading

Today’s Prosperity Process – Nov 4 2010

I spent the rest of yesterday afternoon exploring the local area. Chicago missed a spot on my list of top places to check out foliage, but my instincts led me to some surprisingly beautiful displays. From the orange trees which formed a perfect row up the side of the bridge to the Art Institute to the multicolored Millennium Park, it was stunning. Along with the bright blue sky and intoxicating architecture, the autumnal backdrop energized me.

Several hours and miles walked and a a scrumptious feast at Nacional 27 on Huron Street later, I was back in my hotel room, thinking about delicious slumber. I exchanged texts with a friend from Colorado who thanks to Facebook, I learned was staying a mere eleven blocks away. She suggested coffee at 7 a.m.; while it sounded early, I was planning to go to bed by 10 so I agreed.

Continue reading